It is a little before 1:00am. I was just about to close my Mac for the night when I noticed the date and thought of Alexa and her Simple Moments.
I hear the hum of my computer and see its bright white page as I type.
My small white clock is ticking soothingly while Paul snores gently behind me. He is sleeping here in the spare room (my work room) tonight because he is up early in the morning.
The only other sound I hear is the gentle (thankfully) buzz in my ears and head, I have tinnitus and I am aware of it at the moment. Sometimes the noise in my head is very loud and very irritating.
Ben is asleep in his room with his door closed and Pepsi is asleep on my bed. With a bit of luck she will be on my side making a lovely warm place for me.
I have the light on my desk low to the table. The rest of the house is in darkness. Most of the windows are closed tonight as the temperature has dropped with the high winds we have had over the last couple of days. The house is closed down for the night. I am alone with my thoughts. I love this time of the day.
I love being here at my desk, quiet and alone.
On my mind is the funeral I went to. The service itself was lovely, I was very fond of the 91 year old lady that has just passed away. 18 months ago she was a new client of mine, her daughter was one of my carers. About 10 months ago her daughter joined us at work and she became a colleague. So, at the funeral were a number of work colleagues. I had a really lovely afternoon with them, catching up and laughing and I loved being told over and over how well and happy I look!
But, last night I had the most dreadful dreams. I was, apparently shouting and screaming about death, people dying, not being able to put things right.
During the afternoon I learnt that there are four people doing my job now.
No wonder I was poorly.
It was the right decision to retire.
I love being able to be here late at night knowing I don’t have to get up for work in the morning.
I love having time to do this.
Time for bed now, to sleep, perchance to dream….some lovely dreams please.
…maybe I should have had my lavender pillow
The scent of English lavender has long been used as a folk remedy to help people fall asleep. Research is starting to confirm lavender’s sedative qualities. It’s been found to lengthen total sleep time, increase deep sleep, and make people feel refreshed. It appears to work better for women, possibly because women tend to have a more acute sense of smell.
Thank you Alexa.
Beautiful writing, Miriam. I enjoyed reading it. Lovely image, too.
FOUR people!….no wonder you were stressed!…a lovely moment, Miriam
Alison xx
beautiful lavender image – for years I dabbed some lavender oil on my pulse points behind my ears before going to bed – I love the smell
replaced by 4 people !!! I get so annoyed at organisations who work people to the bone and only balance the workload when the poor person leaves.
Thanks for dropping by my blog and what a lovely picture of lavender you have, I love it from my days in aromatherapy.
Sounds like it was a good idea to retire and proves what a good job you did if they need 4 people to do your job!! As a fellow tinnitus sufferer you have my sympathy.
take care
Lisa
x
No wonder you were poorly, indeed! I also have tinnitus, and it can be overwhelming at times. I’m almost always aware of it. Lovely writing, and beautiful watercolor.
I know what you mean about how you feel when the house is quiet. Mine rarely is. Sometimes it is nice to just be alone with your thoughts. Thanks for sharing yours!
I hope you had a peaceful sleep. What a lovely moment you describe – I enjoy a bit of quiet while surrounded by sleeping loved ones.
Rinda
And many thanks to you, Miriam, for joining in and linking up again this month – and I am so touched you stopped on, even at that late time of night, to write your post! Gosh, four people … So glad you can relax now and enjoy the space and time – and with all that pressure, no wonder it is taking your psyche a little while to process what has been happening the last few months and perhaps years. Your photo card is so restful in itself! Though it took me a good couple of minutes to scroll down and start reading your post because I was entranced by your new header :). Always a delight to come and be with you for a little while …
I really enjoyed reading your Simple Moment, Miriam, and I absolutely love the photo and quote you included. Wow – four people to replace the one little you? That has to be very validating for you, and it really speaks to your hard work and dedication. You deserve a happy retirement! xo