1st September 2010

When sense prevails I feel happier and much less stressed

We woke to a beautiful blue sky today; such a welcome relief from days and weeks of rain. It feels like a real September morning! Kind of warm but not yet hot, the air feels full of hope for a bright day.

Ben has gone to visit Lotta in Glasgow; he caught the 7.30am flight from Bristol this morning. He was there before I was up! He gave me a lovely hug before he left.

Paul is still so busy finishing a presentation for ‘the Americans’ so much seems to be depending on this.

I am still coughing, coughing like a dog! This started on Saturday evening and here we are on Wednesday. I feel less stuffed up today, sinuses are not hurting, and my headache has gone. I didn’t sleep last night again; I kept us awake with the coughing. I am so tired but so pleased I saw sense and took the week off sick.

That can be my learning for today.

When sense prevails I feel happier and much less stressed. Stop with the guilt!

I am getting ready for the weekend at Alan’s. I have made some paper fortune cookies for the brothers; they look wonderful in their foil trays!

I have assembled the bits to make the cards.

We have 3 birthdays and 2 anniversaries in September and we will all be together this weekend.

2nd September 2010

Still learning to let go.

I watched the new intake of children walking by my window on their way to their new secondary school today. They seem so small. I clearly remember Ben going off for his visit. Was he really that small? The memory of the way I felt is so clear in my mind. I was well practiced by then. I had the same feelings when he went to playschool and 1st school and middle school, and new schools in between. Anxious, nervous, scared, have we done the right thing? What if he gets lost, will they be kind?

Why won’t he let me meet him?

I cried of course. It’s the same every September. The little ones walking by in their shiny new shoes and sparkling clean bags, remind me how time flies by, everything is but for a short while.

In 9 years time maybe they will be on the phone to their mum from Glasgow or Milan or Helsinki.

“Morning Mum, how’s you? He said. Still learning to let go, I didn’t say.

3rd September 2010

I love being with my brothers and my sisters-in-law.

With Pepsi safely in the kennel we arrived in Barry at the same time as Gerard & Valerie. A film crew from the BBC were filming next door and the place was unrecognizable due to the amount of vans, lorries, people in hi-viz jackets, lighting rigs, people talking into radios, people trying to move people, “clear set” & “quiet please” ringing out as we tried to unload our bags into the house. I suppose there were actors there but I am afraid their fame was lost to me!

We had a fabulous evening in the garden; it was so beautifully warm. We were extremely well illuminated with lighting rigs. We had a really fun evening together. We gave Alan his birthday gift, a gorgeous lantern for the garden, I gave my cards to Paul, Gerard & Alan, I gave out my Chinese fortune cookies which were very much appreciated and gave us all so many laughs! Some of the brothers do a very good Chinese accent! I also gave each of the brothers a Sky Lantern. We hope to light them and send them on their way at the party tomorrow. I learnt again how much I love being with my brothers and my sisters-in-law.

4th September 2010

Working together in a kitchen is a great way to spend quality time together.

Alan’s birthday and the day of the party. Gerard cooked his usual ‘full English’ breakfast before we talked about Alan’s Plan of Action.

Once lists were made we went off the Waterfront Festival in Barry. We had such a great time looking at the ships, wandering around the various tents, watching a very funny re-enactment of a day in the life of a mid-shipman, in full regalia.

After a trip to Morrison’s to pick up last minute things we headed back to the house to begin the prep.

We all worked so hard and so well together, everyone seemed to have a job to do and when that was done, there was another. There is so much to do when you have 30 guests to entertain and feed, and a million (so it seemed) candles to light.

I talked to Gerard about my learning for today. Working together in a kitchen is a great way to spend quality time together.

The party of course was a great success and we all had so much fun. Alan wants to do it again next year!

5th September 2010

I like being their sister.

Don’t forget the anti-histamine

It is raining! We are home with our Pepsi. I am very tired but happy after the weekend. It was sad saying goodbye at lunchtime today but we have some great memories, plenty of photo’s, and ‘see you again soon’, ringing in our ears.

Today I learnt 2 things: I like being their sister, bring the anti-histamine when you go away! (Midges bit us all yesterday! I have scratched my legs and made them bleed).

6th September 2010

Learn from others

I was back to work today after a week off sick. I didn’t feel 100% but it was singing and there was no one else available to take the group and I really love my singing group.

Shimelle talked today about learning by observing someone else learn. I took that with me today. It has taken me all evening to think about what I have learnt today. I went back to the prompt to see if any light would fall into my dim brain and lo a light went on! At my singing group I have watched the people come week after week but not really participate. They have continued to come and this week they were joining in! They were smiling and enjoying being part of the group.

Their carers are learning from us, they are making their own instruments and collecting songs that they can pass on to others. So today, I learnt to keep my eyes and ears open to what others are learning.

Something lovely also happened today: I received an e-mail from Gerard which I have enclosed in today’s pocket. Today’s challenge was to use a cutting from the mail! So e-mail it is.

7th September 2010

Stay calm and carry on

Shimelle is talking about re-learning something today.
I haven’t the heart for this today. Paul was hoping for a face to face interview (after 3 telephone interviews) but has heard tonight that the company are not going ahead with the placement.
They were very impressed with his work and out of 10 people interviewed he was by far the best, but no job. The news is devastating for us.

8th September 2010

It is hard to think ‘transient’ when your feeling so bad.

What comes up in your day that tests your nerves despite all your efforts to grin and bear it? See if you can find something transient in your day to remind yourself of the power of patience.

I was at the doctor again yesterday. My cough is still with me so I have a short course of anti-biotics. I have decided not to attend the training course that was planned for the next two days as I feel so poorly particularly my gut!

I am spending rather an uncomfortable amount of time in the bathroom so instead of worrying about it, as I would normally do I’m grinning and bearing it!!

Thanks Shimelle!

9th September 2010

learn from the small things

…some days we  need to learn from the little things in life: a bit of gratitude, appreciation, kindness. Martin & Marion couldn’t come to the party at the weekend.

On the Sunday we found a DVD they had made for us. It was so wonderful that they had done that for us.

Tonight Paul & I made a ‘thank you’ DVD of our pictures from the weekend to send around to the family. I hope it makes them as happy as Martins made us

There’s never any hurt in responding to a thank you with a thank you of your own!

Shimelle

10th September 2010

How good laughter is

Shimelle is talking about learning from being at home. Today my learning came from going out!

I have been at home for a number of days now because I have felt so poorly.

Today I had to go into the office for a little while.

I spent some time with a work colleague who began to re tell a tale from last week at work and we began to smile, then laugh, and laugh and laugh. Gosh I felt better! Thank you P.

Today I re-learnt, Laughing is very good for me.

11th September 2010

The knowledge that I will make someone else happy drives me on when I would prefer to cancel

How can it be 9 years since 9.11?

Today my focus was on the annual Memory Walk  for the Alzheimer’s Society. Our local walk  takes place in the town, along the sea front.

We walk to raise funds and to raise awareness of the horrible disease that Dementia is. Some people walk for a loved one lost to the disease and some walk for the people they love that are living with the disease.

The sun shone for us today after a very unsettled week of wind & rain.

We had a beautiful cake to raffle, laughed lots, and at the end of the walk we met for tea and cup cakes at a lovely restaurant in town AND collected LOADS of money!

Thank you everyone for a great afternoon.

12th September 2010

It’s ok to do something ‘just for me’

Today I did something just for me. I went to an exhibition of quilts and had a wonderful time looking at some really beautiful needlework.

I bought lots of bits of fabric, mostly quilting sizes, just because I loved them I met a lady making lovely things to raise money for a schooling project in Gambia and bought this fab necklace made by some of her ladies in the Gambia.

13th September 2010

Polishing is good for the house and me!

I was cleaning on 13th! I couldn’t stand the dust anymore so had to do something about it.

I was also feeling pretty cross that I had let it get to this.

I realised I was polishing wildly and remembered that my mum used to do the same thing!

We laughed at each other when we found out that we both did wild polishing to rid ourselves of crossness.

September 14th 2010

Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and get on with what I am doing!

I look on the LSNED forum and wonder what stops me posting and joining in?

I have issues of inadequacy. It’s not 9 am yet! I am going in the shower to wash these negative thoughts away.

It is something I have to keep working on –

It’s not a lesson I can crack in just one day. Shimelle

Happy Birthday Gerard and Happy Anniversary Paul & Chris. xx

15th September 2010

It is our 26^th wedding anniversary today. We spent a lovely day at home, with Ben wondering where the last 26 years have gone?

It was quite scary to look back, at what is, a lifetime ago. There was no Ben and that’s the strangest thing.

Many times over the years we tell him that there was ‘a time before Ben’ to illustrate a point (like we are not just parents!) but still it hardly seems possible.

We have moved a few times. I remember the various gardens I have tended, and soft furnishings we had! That amused the boys! While they remember the various cars we had, (that amused me of course). There have been a number of different jobs in different countries for Paul, I remember the various children that came into our lives from my child minding days. So many friends and colleagues have been part of our lives. Some, thankfully still are. We have loved and lost a few pets along the way.  And of course loved and lost a few precious people. When we look back at our photo albums (yes actual paper albums!) it is hard to see family no longer with us.

It is so wonderful to still know the young men and women who were children in our photos.  All of these things are in our hearts and make us who we are today. We are still together, we still love each other and are pretty much unscathed, maybe a little wider, hopefully a little wiser, during our years together. x

16th September 2010

Having my nails done gives me such a lift!

What more can I say? nothing at all,

just love it!

love it,

love it!

Happy Birthday Martin. x

17th September 2010

Sometimes it takes someone else to tell you that you are procrastinating.

Today we decided that it is time to sell the house and move on.

We moved here in 2000 out of necessity. We have never been happy here and should have moved 5 years ago.

For reasons that I now can’t remember we are still here.

We have made a plan.

18th September 2010

A tidy garden makes me feel better even if my back is hurting!

Today we started on ‘the plan’

Tidy the garden

It has been neglected during last month’s continuous rain.

We cleared out the courtyard, by the sheds, along the side of the house as far as the back door.

Ben reduced the greenery into bags and took them to the tip. Our old trailer fell to bits which caused great hilarity thinking of ways to mend it, incorporating the ability to transport Bens motor bike! Three trips to the tip, ½ of it done today

Current phrase “mentally moving out”

We had a treat tonight and ordered an Indian takeaway from our favourite place in town. This comes with the added bonus that there is always enough left for lunch tomorrow.

In making something out of ds paper I decided to change the look of 18^th & 19^th pages. Had I thought of the windmill first I wouldn’t have had to change my original pages!! There must be a lesson there but I can’t think of one at the moment.

19th September 2010

I will not worry until there is something to worry about.

We have learnt that our beloved Pepsi has a heart condition. Her heart should be beating at 60 beats per minute but Pepsi’s is beating at 180 beats per minute!

She has to go to the vets on Wednesday 22^nd September for the day for some tests. She seems perfectly fine, running around like a mad thing and eating just as normal but I can feel that her heart is beating far too quickly.

There is no sense in worrying until there is something to worry about.

My dad taught me that!

20th September 2010

Roast Chicken dinner on a Monday is lovely

Rhubarb and Strawberries are gorgeous together

It was such a strange day today.

I got rid of some plant pots by responding to a wanted add on Freecycle.

Ben cleared out our tool shed and took a load of stuff to the dump.

It feels good to have a clear out!

Ben & I had a chat about the future, we looked in the paper at the ‘to let’ pages. There are lots of properties to let; I don’t imagine it will be a problem to find something when we have sold.

Karen rang and we had a lovely chat, she has just returned from her holiday.

I cooked a lovely roast chicken dinner with a rhubarb & strawberry crumble for dessert.

Alan phoned to say that he has received the DVD and loves it!

But all day Paul has been miserable. He did talk to Ben, which I am pleased about, but nothing has shaken his mood today.

He is going to Manchester on business tomorrow so maybe that will give him a lift.

21st September 2010

I love to have a day all to myself.

Paul has taken Ben to Coventry to spend a day with his friend Alistair then he is going on to Manchester (Mank Ben calls it) for a meeting. They will be in late this evening.

Just Me & Peps then.  Love it! Oh, and the washing of course. Like death & taxes, you can be certain there will always be washing.

22nd September 2010

8.30am

Pepsi is at the vets, of course I’m thinking about what the outcome will be so I have a plan to keep me busy.

I am having problems updating my blog so I intend to fix that today.

12.30pm.

Waiting for the vet to ring. If we haven’t heard by 1 0’clock I am to ring them. I am washing every bit of linen that Pepsi owns! And I have some chicken for her tea. My boys are laughing at me.

4.30pm

we collected Pepsi at 2.15pm. Nothing conclusive was found. She has had an ECG, bloods and x ray. Her heart is not enlarged and there is no tumor. The arteries seem fine, her lungs are clear. Apart from the racing heart, reaching 200 bmp at one point, she is fit and well. The vet would like to refer her to a heart specialist. As we are covered on insurance we have agreed to the referral. The vet offered medication to slow the heart rate but we would prefer to know what is causing it and maybe have some sort of prognosis rather than just medicate.

This ‘heart condition’ has come about within the last twelve months. She had general anesthetic last July for her extractions and was thoroughly checked before the anesthetic.

She seems fit and well. She still runs very quickly everywhere particularly up and down the stairs! She eats well and what we pick up from the lawn is very normal.

The heart specialist will ring me tomorrow to make an appointment.

8.30pm

All seems well. Pepsi seems pleased with the fresh clean beds, she has tried them all out! She has eaten her supper and has the most appalling wind! Family calling for oxygen. Situation normal then!

23rd September 2010

23rd September 2010

‘something I shouldn’t forget’.

Don’t under estimate the boy!

Today I learnt that my son knows how to clean an oven and he did a brilliant job on mine!

When he explained how, I was not so sure I wanted to go through with it. It involved buying a box of biological washing powder, old towels and our bath! He promised it would be worth it so I agreed. Apart from the horrors that lay in the beautiful white bath overnight, he promised it would be worth it so I agreed. Apart from the horrors that lay in the beautiful white bath overnight, he was right. My oven shelves and doors are shiny and new.

So, the university education brings an unexpected bonus!

September 24th

24th September 2010

A compliment from a friend sure gives me a boost.

My lovely friend came to visit me and brought me a cake that she had baked just for me! We had tea and a ‘show & tell’

She is a very special lady!

Thank you Karen

25th September 2010

25th September 2010

I am in danger of not only finishing this project but, finishing it on time!

Todays challenge was to write your lesson in the form of a letter

Dear reader,

You will be so surprised at today’s learning. You may also be a little confused about the Christmas card that I am writing on, I’ll explain later.

It occurred to me last night as I was talking to my husband that I am in danger of not only finishing this project but, finishing it on time!

I have learnt from the process, that although I absolutely love doing this I do feel guilty about spending time on it. Yes it should be quick & easy but I love to play, (faffing it is known as around here) I love to look on the forum, so many beautiful pages, so many wonderful stories to spend time reading. It’s that old chestnut knocking on my head, you know, the one that says if it’s for me, if it’s fun, I shouldn’t be doing it? Oh s*d it, I polished last week, it says so on page 13.

Love & kisses

P.s. I learnt that it is 90 days to Christmas, would you like to come to me this year?

September 26th

26th September 2010

^…not every day is a good day

A very odd day today.

No one in the house seemed happy.

I think I’ll learn that not every day is good. Although it is strange for us all to be down on the same day.

Someone once said to me when I asked how their day was, “Oh just another shi**y day in paradise”.

I know what they mean today.

27th September 2010

Shoes & heels feel very strange after flat summer sandals

It was my first day back to work after some leave. The morning had a wonderful autumnal feel and perfume to it. Along with the heels I needed a jacket but I just love the autumn and winter. I love hats and scarves, boots and gloves, cosy coats in the day and warm blankets in the evening. It was the first day I felt the change in the season and I welcome it.

Today’s challenge was to make my lesson rhyme

Autumn to winter

Cosy wraps  Scarves boots

Woolen coats  Silk  hats.

Icy breath  Sparkling eyes

Warming soup  Spiced pies.

Faces glow  Hands cold

Freezing nose  White  snow.

Dark morning  evening light

Winter clock  early night.

Mulled wine  spicy rum

Halloween  festive fun.

September 28th

28th September 2010

…I have 12 You Tube videos bookmarked all on mini books!

My challenge for today was to take inspiration from an entry posted on the forum.

Today I read Paulaj16’s post about browsing on YouTube.

It reminded me that while trying to tidy my bookmarks I found a programme that would alphabetize them for me. It brought to my attention that under ‘craft’  there are 123 bookmarks, which includes 12 You Tube videos all on mini books!

I understand what Paula says completely.

Browsing on You Tube is a bit like that Pringles add, you can’t have just one! You can’t watch just one You Tube video! You watch one, then another then that leads you to the third and then before you know it you have been there 45 minutes! It’s like a drug.

September 29th

29th September 2010

…take my camera out with me

I have a lovely ‘point & shoot’ camera that I had ‘forgotten’ about. I have put it in my bag and will try to take a photo every day for the whole month of October.

I read an article about changing the way you do things, how to incorporate change into your life. Apparently if you do something every day for 30 days it becomes a habit. I’m going to give it a go.

I took the picture of my shoes and today’s photo with it…it’s a good start and it is still September!

September 30th

30th September 2010

…Work/life balance

no matter how long I do this job sad news really tugs at my heart.

My son passed his driving assessment for the new job

Sad news goes with the territory but sometimes the

news hits a spot. In the office we are lucky to have lots of support and a hug from colleagues before I go out on a visit helps a great deal.

I had a call this afternoon

“Hi Mum, I passed. See you later!”

It’s a full time job that will pay off the overdraft and go towards next years planned masters degree.

There is work and there is home.

Reflection

Reflection

I have loved doing this class again

It is hard to do a page every day

Next time, for me, it needs to be simplified

I liked the small size, 6×6 this year

It was good to have the pages ready

Some days the coloured pockets were restricting

Next time I want to do white pages

I like learning/being aware of the day but I really like keeping a diary

I liked the extra challenges this year

It feels like a great achievement to have finished the project

and on time!