Do Something Different 1/7

For Dementia Awareness Week

This week (from 17th – 23 May) in the UK it is Dementia Awareness Week.

Some of you will know that I worked for Alzheimer’s society until I retired a couple of years ago.
I would like to acknowledge the work of the society and to contribute to Dementia Awareness Week by posting ‘something different for me’: a short sketch each day called

“All in a days work”

These are not remembered stories but real events I wrote up a long time ago right after the visit/phone call.
As support workers we had excellent support in the office but on the rare occasion I couldn’t get there after I finished a visit or I was alone in the office I used to write down my thoughts and feelings and let the paper listen.

The phone call
Wanted: a listening ear, no suggestions, no advice, just listen and learn.

She had been married before. He was an unloving and violent man and just when life couldn’t get worse he developed Alzheimer’s disease. It made the violence worse until he was taken away and eventually died. She met a man who had been married to a violent and uncaring woman. She didn’t go into detail about that part but the wife eventually died.
The unhappy man and the unhappy woman met and fell in love and have been married, so happily for 30 years.
He was the gentlest sweetest man who ever lived. They were so happy together and spent the second part of their lives doing all the things they were never able to do in their previous marriages.

Now he has the same disease, she is 86 years old and could no longer cope with him being up in the night, his constant repetition and his purposeful walking. She was exhausted. He is in care. She is heart broken. She needed someone to listen. I was there.

Forget-me-not-One-person

Remember the person

6 thoughts on “Do Something Different 1/7

  1. A very touching story. It’s hard to imagine being with someone who treats you so poorly; so lucky that they found one another. I just lost a dear friend to Alzheimer’s. It’s a heartbreaking disease, not only for the individual, but for all the family and friends as well.

  2. I thankfully have no direct experience of dementia but know from friends how awful it is to watch – so important to have someone who will listen without judgement or comment

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