5 in 5 on 25th of the 5th

In one of the houses my friend and I visited during North Somerset Arts Week, the gentleman of the house, not wanting to be left out, gave us a tour of his garden!
This is not so much ‘take as many photos as you can in five minutes and choose just five and link up with Sandie at Itchifingers.’ It’s more the case that my camera decided to make very scary crunching noises when I pressed the shutter!! These are the only 5 I have!!!
Yes I was very concerned that it might be the camera but ‘fortunately’ it was my 50mm lens, phew, much less expensive than the camera body to replace and replacing it was cheaper than a repair. Oh how I dispair at our throw away world.

Anyway, here are five pictures that I took in the garden, somewhere on the art trail a week or so ago.

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I think I will be too late to link up with Sandie’s 5 in 5 but if you have a moment you might like to see what others have posted here.

Do Something Different 7/7

For Dementia Awareness Week

This week (from 17th – 23 May) in the UK it is Dementia Awareness Week.

Some of you will know that I worked for Alzheimer’s society until I retired a couple of years ago.
I would like to acknowledge the work of the society and to contribute to Dementia Awareness Week by posting ‘something different for me': a short sketch each day called

“All in a days work”

These are not remembered stories but real events I wrote up a long time ago right after the visit/phone call.
As support workers we had excellent support in the office but on the rare occasion I couldn’t get there after I finished a visit or I was alone in the office I used to write down my thoughts and feelings and let the paper listen.

Return Visit

“They say want to support me but they don’t. They are always busy” he said
I remembered and said “They were here when I visited before?”
“ I haven’t seen them since” he said unhappily
“I rang and asked if she could have her mum for the afternoon next week to let me go to my club’s dinner but no, she was busy herself” he said.
He looked across at his wife who asked me again if I would like a coffee. “Sometimes she thinks I’m her brother but at the moment she still seems to recognise my voice so it doesn’t last long”.
“This is our second marriage you know” he told me.
I said that yes I knew. I wanted to talk a little bit about how knowledge about the disease would help so much: it could enable him to have a little patience with her (and peace for himself) if her knew what was happening to her.
“When her grandson was terribly ill she shut me out,
her own children and her grandson were all she cared about.
He died, he was only eight she shut me out she had a stroke and now I am expected to care for her, it’s hard” he said as the tears came.
“The day she doesn’t recognise me I will need your help to find a care home” he sobbed.

“Of course I’ll help and until that day I’ll help you to try to understand the disease and help you to care in the best way you can”.

I left with a heavy heart that morning

Forget-ne-not-7

Remember the person

Thank you all for your support this week.

Do Something Different 6/7

For Dementia Awareness Week

This week (from 17th – 23 May) in the UK it is Dementia Awareness Week.

Some of you will know that I worked for Alzheimer’s society until I retired a couple of years ago.
I would like to acknowledge the work of the society and to contribute to Dementia Awareness Week by posting ‘something different for me': a short sketch each day called

“All in a days work”

These are not remembered stories but real events I wrote up a long time ago right after the visit/phone call.
As support workers we had excellent support in the office but on the rare occasion I couldn’t get there after I finished a visit or I was alone in the office I used to write down my thoughts and feelings and let the paper listen.

Wanted: Patience, a calm, soft voice and very carefully chosen words.
Apply deep within.

It was a large room with the furniture set on two sides of a square. The settee was at right angles to the two chairs that were separated by the door to the hall and the rest of the house.
I was shown in and offered a seat on the settee. My lady wondered if she should sit by me. “Oh yes please” I said, “Then I will be able to hear you.”

Her husband sat in the armchair furthest from us.
The door bell went, my lady got up to greet her daughter who promptly sat beside me remarking that the seat was warm “were you sitting here mum?” not moving or listening for an answer. The husband began to talk about what he wanted. Not seeming to look at this wife, speak to her, or even acknowledge she was in the room.
The doorbell went again it was my lady’s son.
He came in and pulled up a dining room chair and sat between his mother and his sister.
The husband, son and daughter all began to speak at once; I asked if I might have a glass of water, it was going to be a very long visit.

forgetmenot-little-things-

Remember the person

Do Something Different 5/7

For Dementia Awareness Week

This week (from 17th – 23 May) in the UK it is Dementia Awareness Week.

Some of you will know that I worked for Alzheimer’s society until I retired a couple of years ago.
I would like to acknowledge the work of the society and to contribute to Dementia Awareness Week by posting ‘something different for me': a short sketch each day called

“All in a days work”

These are not remembered stories but real events I wrote up a long time ago right after the visit/phone call.
As support workers we had excellent support in the office but on the rare occasion I couldn’t get there after I finished a visit or I was alone in the office I used to write down my thoughts and feelings and let the paper listen.

Professional man seeks time alone.

“I want to care for her until the end” he said with tears in his eyes.
“Of course, that’s just what I will be able to help you do.
We don’t put people in care unless it is absolutely necessary these days,
how long have you been married?” I ask gently
“55 years” he said. Smiling now, “She was my first and only love”.
I talk to him a little about living with someone with a memory loss, about strategies that help.
“Sometimes I get so very cross with her, I know it is not her fault but I can’t help it.” He told me.
“One of the best strategies for coping is to walk away. Go into another room for a few minutes, try to calm down and return to the room, maybe with a smile on your face? She may of course have forgotten the incident by then.” I told him very gently.
“We have a very nice extension at he back of the house. I put her in there for a while and come in here and watch the sport on TV”

There is much work to be done here.

forgetmenot+-leaves

Remember the person

Do Something Different 4/7

For Dementia Awareness Week

This week (from 17th – 23 May) in the UK it is Dementia Awareness Week.

Some of you will know that I worked for Alzheimer’s society until I retired a couple of years ago.
I would like to acknowledge the work of the society and to contribute to Dementia Awareness Week by posting ‘something different for me': a short sketch each day called

“All in a days work”

These are not remembered stories but real events I wrote up a long time ago right after the visit/phone call.
As support workers we had excellent support in the office but on the rare occasion I couldn’t get there after I finished a visit or I was alone in the office I used to write down my thoughts and feelings and let the paper listen.

For her own health and safety

“Of course I don’t forget to eat, I cook for myself every day! She flew at me.
Ooops, wrong tone in my question, so easily done.
“Yesterday I cooked a chicken and roast potatoes and some vegetable just the way I have always done.” She said almost crossly.
“Oh that’s wonderful” I said, “I love to cook for my family but don’t always have the time now that I work”. “May I have a glass of water?” I ask the lady of the house.
“Of course my dear” she says so sweetly as she gets to her feet and heads to the kitchen.
I follow her, and as I step through the door I notice the most enormous dead plant resting in the sink.
It has been the only occupant of that place in many a week by the looks of things.
“Oh we have plants in common too” I exclaim. “Is this chap having a holiday?”
“I do this too, I pop them in the sink while I go to work, it’s a bit like self watering” I laugh and my lady laughs too.
I look around the room.
It has been many months since any food has been prepared here and many weeks since any of the cups on the side have been washed in this sink.
We talk about the plants, their names, their likes and dislikes until my request for water has been forgotten.
I leave with the promise to return again to help with the watering and pruning.

(After I have made a few phone calls of course).

forgetmenot-little-things

Remember the person